Disastrous Holiday in comedy style/different perspective

The idea is to describe the holiday, no matter how disastrous it was, as a total comedy. It has to be hilarious! This can either be achieved through drily naming all the disasters that happened (Gareth and Bex already did a great job at this!), or by turning the thing into a cynic I-hate-everyone-comedy, or turning it into clownesque slapstick, you name it!

This can be ANYONE that was there. It could be a dog. Or a plant. Or God.

It’s always fascinated me to see a family drama unravel before my eyes, especially if I do not know the people at all. I saw them first when I was buying some beers in the little supermarket: they looked as if they had been walking for a good couple of hours. The Spanish-looking man had dust all over his face and head, as if someone deliberately threw a handful at him, or as if he fell over face down in the sand. The red-haired, explosive looking white woman looked like a giant angry rhinoceros with steam coming out of her nostrils. The presumed daughter, sunburnt from crown to toes, followed them with a cynical yet miserable smile on her face. They bought some drinks, and because I felt the tension between the three, I decided to follow them. Don’t get me wrong, I usually don’t do stuff like this, but the drama of human life, and especially marriage, has always compelled me.
I pretended to search for something in my bag, squatting at close distance to them.
As the Signor and his mad wife picked up their argument, which seemed to be about some issue in a distant past, regarding their now nearly grown-up daughter, I got comfortable on the pavement outside the supermarket. I opened one of the beers that I just bought, and happily watched the three creatures, struggling with the heat, the opening of their drinks, but mostly, with each other’s presence.
This is why I never married.

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